People who are afraid to fail are destined to live lives of mediocrity. The more willing you are to take a risk, fail and get back up to do it over again, the more likely it is that you will achieve outstanding success.
There is a reason why the phrase fail forward was coined. If you are not failing occasionally you are probably not growing in your thinking or in what is possible for you.
Baby Talk:
Imagine a 9-month-old learning to walk. Does he get it right the first time? What would happen if when he falls down he says,
“Well, that hurt. I better not do that again!” or “Great, now my whole day is ruined” or “I totally suck at this. I’m just going to crawl.”
Most of us would love to succeed seamlessly. We want to look good while we are doing it.
We don’t want to go down the road full of failure potholes and sport the bumps and bruises from the rough ride. Even if we do brave the road, most of us try to hide our bruises instead of wearing them with pride.
I failed with flair early in my business.
I hired a very well known marketing coach and his team to build my sales funnels. The service was very expensive but the returns they were quoting made the outrageously large investment seem like a no brainer. I financed the investment. What was supposed to take 3 months and generate $250,000 in sales in the first year took 16 months to launch and generated a whopping $34 before I ran out of money for more “testing”.
I’d relied on the promise that the drip would become a flow and neglected other prospecting activities. At this point, I was almost broke, had enormous monthly payments and scrambled to stay afloat.
Family members urged me to go back to the corporate world. I felt embarrassed and ashamed.
Eventually, I confided in a few colleagues and I was amazed that a number of them had been down the exact same road. They didn’t give up and neither did I. I did however course correct and am the stronger and more skillful for it.
Failure is your friend:
Your ability to tolerate falling down, dusting yourself off, taking inventory and trying again is how you will succeed.
The willingness to do that over and over again UNTIL you reach your desired result is what generates a profound sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in life.
It shapes your identity as someone who is resilient, tenacious and determined. The committed phoenix that rises full feathered from the ashes.
Why the easy road is a seductive illusion:
Studies show that it usually only takes 2 generations for 70% of the children of wealthy families to blow the family fortune and by the third generation it’s 90%!
Risk-averse people dream of such a seemingly easy life. They’ve been handed (at least monetary) success, avoided that bumpy road and everything should be smooth sailing. Success with that kind of ease is no success at all and can actually be quite harmful. Hence the existence of Rich Kid Syndrome.
5 ways to foster a failure factor environment:
Collect and display inspirational quotes about failure
1. Be super clear on your mission:
According to Elon Musk, SpaceX exists to “revolutionize space technology, with the ultimate goal of enabling people to live on other planets.” So even after rockets explode, they go back to the drawing board and start again.
2. Take the Thomas Jefferson approach:
On inventing the light bulb: “I have not failed, I’ve just found ten thousand ways that won’t work.”
3. Use failure to ignite your desire to learn more, practice more, try new ways:
Tell yourself: “I will come out the other side because I know I’m going to persist and I will master this for as long as it takes.”
4. Be decisive:
As long as you’re not deciding you’re avoiding. (Check out my article Access Your Zone of Genius Today to learn how to make smart decisions.)
Ask yourself:
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What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
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What would I do even if I know I will fail?
(Sometimes success is in the pursuit. Others will get to pick up where you left off.)
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What can I learn from this?
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What do I need to do differently?
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How does this make me stronger?
5. Remember the only true failure is giving up!
Experience is not the best teacher, it’s the only teacher so I challenge you to up your failure factor. Fail with pride and gusto, diagnose the cause, keep your eyes on the prize, course correct and try again.
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TONY MAREE TORREY
LA's Foremost Success Coach
Tony Maree Torrey is a deeply experienced leader. A dynamic and sought after speaker and Success Coach.
For 18 years she has been an inspiration and guide to CEOs, celebrities and other top performers. Hired by clients from all over the world, she combines the power of traditional coaching and psychology with evidence-based, advanced modalities and smart business strategies so that high achievers can build on the success they’ve already created, activate their highest impact and expand personal fulfillment.
Her clients have generated multiple 7 figures, written best-selling books, fast-tracked or turned around businesses, landed TV and movie roles and launched professional speaking careers to name a few of their successes.
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