The Sure-Fire Way to Breakthrough Your Fear and Prevail in Business and Life [797 Words]

When we set ambitious goals for ourselves and our teams, it immediately creates a requirement for change, and change can be scary. All too often we fall short of our goals and the main reason is fear.

Fear is activated by the identity gap between who you are today and who you need to become in order to achieve the goal that’s been set.

Think of it as stages in a cycle:

Stage 1: Status Quo

The mind gravitates to what’s familiar because in primal times familiar = safe. Straying out of your tribe’s territory could mean risking a predator attack or encountering a rival tribe.

Stage 2: A Vision of the Future

You form a vision of a new possibility for your life and set a new goal but the subconscious has not embraced it. So as soon as you think about going into uncharted waters, your survival mechanisms kick in and instruct you not to by creating uncomfortable feelings of fear, anxiety, tension.

Stage 3: Embrace or Abandon

You find a way to help your subconscious adopt the new idea and your inner identity evolves. Your goal is achieved and becomes the new normal.

OR

Your subconscious overrides what you consciously want to keep you “safe”. The new identity is never adopted. You either reduce or abandon the goal.

For example:

When I was 8 years old, a teacher punished me for talking in class, she sat me in the corner, in front of my classmates, with my mouth taped shut. (Yes, they could get away with this back in the day.) And this happened twice!

My impressionable subconscious decided that speaking to groups always ends in pain and humiliation.

As I gained expertise as a coach, a new vision came up when a client suggested I run a workshop for her team.

At the very thought of this, my fear factor flipped into hyper-drive:

• Who am I to do something this bold?

• What will people think?

• What will happen if I forget what I’m going to say?

I dismissed the idea of professionally speaking for over a decade and stuck to 1:1 coaching. Eventually, I got over the fear by taking baby steps but initially, I selected Option 1.

When we come up against a fear boundary, there are 2 things we can do:

Option 1:

Abandon the vision, retreat to your comfort zone. Go back to before the goal or potential change was identified. We are held prisoner by our fear.

The trouble with doing this is it can bring about a lot of self-judgment and uncomfortable feelings anyway. These feelings are insidious and can be damaging to your self-esteem.

Option 2:

Is where we get to achieve our goals and grow:

Embrace – Take the Leap or baby steps forward until the subconscious embraces your new identity.

The irony is that either option will cause you pain. So I recommend choosing option 2 without delay.

When you break through your fear boundaries, you open up to a new sense of power and freedom.

And each time, self-confidence builds and it gets easier to embrace the process of change the next time.

Some changes we encounter are big and some are small. Some will come easier than others.

I still feel the familiar pull of fear prior to every workshop or speech.

And this brings me to some important points:

• Feeling fear does not mean there is something wrong with you

• Fear does not mean you shouldn’t do it 

• There is a difference between real danger and perceived danger but your body reacts the same way. I’m not recommending you ignore the warning signs and start walking down any dark alleys by yourself

• You don’t have to wait until you feel calm and comfortable to take action

Here is my proprietary blueprint for breaking through your Fear Barrier:

RID-FEAR

RECOGNIZE the new vision doesn’t yet fit with your idea of yourself which feels destabilizing.

IMPRESS the new idea on the subconscious mind with gratitude and faith i.e. “I’m so happy and grateful now that I have 3 profitable speaking gigs every single month”

DO IT even when you feel scared.

FORWARD Keep marching forward no matter how badly your feet want to stick to the ground, take that next baby step.

EXPECT the enemy – New Level, New Devil – The fear boundary will probably rear its ugly head every time you level up.

ALTER the way you look at it. Fear a sign you are on the right path! It’s part of the process.

REWARD Keep your eyes on the prize and trust that definiteness of purpose will be rewarded.

RINSE AND REPEAT

On the other side of fear is everything that you want.

What is one thing you can do this week to move forward, face your fear boundary and grow?